Our Commitment to Financial Wellness
Tools, knowledge, and support for financial wellness that lasts
Finances can be a sensitive topic, even in the most trusting, open relationships. It touches on deeply personal values, habits, and dreams, which makes conversations about money necessary and, at times, just downright hard.
If you're splitting bills, saving for a shared goal, or tackling debt together, open communication is key. Being open about finances isn’t always easy, but we’ve got a few tips to help make those conversations a little less daunting.
- Choose the right time and placeConversations about money deserve the right environment. Avoid discussing finances in the middle of an argument or when either partner is stressed or distracted. While finances can bring up emotions of their own—which is completely normal—it's best to begin the conversation where it can be had with understanding.💡Friendly tip: Schedule a time to talk when you’re both calm and relaxed. A Saturday morning over coffee or a quiet evening at home can set a positive tone.
- Start with shared goalsTalking about money doesn’t have to feel like a confrontation. Try framing the conversation around shared goals, like a future vacation, buying a home, or simply feeling more secure about your financial situation. Starting with a common objective shifts the focus from problems to possibilities.Example: “I’ve been thinking about saving for a trip next year. Would that be something you’d want to do? How do you feel about setting some savings goals together?”
- Approach with empathy, not judgmentEveryone has a financial past that influences their present habits. Whether it’s managing income, tackling student loans, living paycheck to paycheck, or navigating financial privilege, understanding where your partner is coming from helps foster trust.💡Friendly tip: Consider using “I” statements rather than “you” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Here’s an example:
- Instead of: “You’re always spending too much.”
- Try: “I feel a little worried about our savings. Can we look at it together?”
- Be honest about your own money habitsIf you want your partner to open up about finances, lead by example. Share your own financial habits, fears, and goals honestly. This creates a safe space for your partner to do the same.Example: “I sometimes get anxious about my credit card balance, so I’ve been trying to stick to a budget. How do you feel about budgeting?”
- Respect each other’s differencesIt’s rare for two people to have the exact same financial habits. One person might be a saver, while the other enjoys spending on life’s little pleasures. Instead of trying to change each other, focus on finding a middle ground.💡Friendly tip: Start by talking about what’s important to each of you. For example:
- If one partner values experiences, like dining out or traveling, discuss ways to budget for those without neglecting savings.
- If the other prefers long-term security, brainstorm ways to balance immediate enjoyment with future planning.
- Create a plan togetherOnce you’ve opened up about your financial situations and goals, work as a team to create a plan. This might look like a monthly budget, paying down debt, or saving for something special. Working together on finances makes it feel less like a chore and more like a partnership.
- Make it a regular conversationMoney talk shouldn’t happen only during big life moments or when problems arise. Regular check-ins—weekly, monthly, or quarterly—help normalize these discussions and reduce stress around them.💡Friendly tip: Turn it into a “money date.” Order takeout, review your finances, and talk about upcoming plans. Keeping it casual can make the topic feel less daunting.
- Help is there, if neededIf you and your partner aren’t making progress or seeing eye-to-eye, involving a third, neutral party can help you navigate the conversation smoothly. Financial advisors or couples' counselors can provide tools and strategies to navigate tricky conversations and align on financial goals. Some states offer financial guidance at little to no cost for those who qualify, as well as non-profits. Just remember, seeking help is a sign of commitment to each other, not a sign of failure.
Talking about money is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and teamwork. The goal isn’t to agree on everything but to understand each other’s perspectives and build a financial foundation that works for both partners.
With open communication and mutual respect, discussing money can strengthen your relationship and bring you closer to the life you want to build together.
Percapita does not provide financial advice. This material is for informational and discussion purposes only and should not be relied upon as financial guidance. Consult a financial professional regarding your specific financial situation.
Talking Openly
